if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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