Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
