You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
