do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
