I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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