atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
