Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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