The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
