I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
God I need to hump something, right now.
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