She is in my trunk
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
