I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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