can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
