Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
