he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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