i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
