the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
