soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
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He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
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I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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