Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize