I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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