You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
