Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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