thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
