Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
