sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
