a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
