i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
