SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
