idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
