I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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