How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
