If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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