the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize