so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
