What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
