Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
