I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
