I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I look excited, but its just a facade.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
