When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
