How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
