I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
