His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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