I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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