so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
