Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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