He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
