Apparently you make a good broom.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
