a queef is a wish your heart makes.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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