Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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