Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Of course I have a pirate flag
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
