I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
