You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
