It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
