she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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