she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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