come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
