You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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