You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ambien. No doubt about it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Randomize
