if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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