He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
