my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
